Danny
Walking up Tunnel Mountain to the Banff Centre on an unseasonably warm day for Banff in March, with a hangover, was a challenge in itself. Interviewing someone who I've been friends with for the better part of five months; that was the challenge that lay ahead of me at the top of the mountain.
I met Danny in November when we both worked at a Canadian fashion brand called Roots, in their store on Banff Avenue. Roots is my full time job but Danny worked evenings alongside his full time job at the Banff Centre as a member of the housekeeping/maintenance team. As I made my way up the mountain for what I knew would be a very personal interview, the morning after a Roots staff party Danny and I had both attended, I wondered what the morning would hold for us both.
When I first met Danny we got along instantly, we're both from the North of England, only two hours drive away at home, and share the same Northern sense of humour. Getting along with Danny is involuntary; he's easily one of the funniest people I've ever met, as well as deep-thinking and genuine individual. When arranging our interview, he asked me how honest I wanted him to be and if I was looking for certain answers to my questions. I asked him to be as honest as he wanted to be, I wanted a genuine reflection of his time in Canada, but only to share what he felt comfortable sharing. Being the open and loyal person his is, he told me the harsh truths of his past year in Banff.
We settled ourselves in a barely-used, recreational room in one of the older buildings at the Banff Centre and Danny told me he would creep in here at 5:30am to watch the Liverpool matches. We spent a few minutes reviewing the antics of the night before that had us both feeling a little worse for wear, and then began our interview. It's bizarre interviewing someone you're already friends with, obviously you know some of the answers to the questions you're going to ask and it can affect the questions you do ask as it's easier to lead the interview in the direction you want. Trying to be as unbiased and integral as possible, I asked Danny to start at the beginning and tell me how long he'd been in Canada; "I've been in Canada since the 22nd of May to be precise, so I've recently passed the ten month mark. I'll be leaving temporarily on the eleventh month mark to go to Cancun, but then I'll be returning after two weeks to see my two years out. I've done over ten months in Banff which is a long time to spend in this small town, where I largely feel like I'm in the wrong place *laughs* [I feel] like I don't belong here, what you come here for and what the majority of people are here for, I'm not on that wavelength at all. It's been ten months of being like a fish out of water."
In response to this, I asked him what he was expecting when he moved to Banff: "I have no idea, honest to God, I follow a Facebook page called 'The World' and they regularly post pictures of things around Banff National Park, Lake Louise, Lake Moraine, Lake Minnewanka. I've seen all these pictures of these amazing lakes and mountains, and I knew I wanted to come travelling away from home for a bit and I thought 'Banff; it's got it all'. So I did a bit of research, and when I say a bit I mean brief research, on Banff and I thought 'yeah I'll go there', but I had no idea. This is like the Ibiza of Canada *laughs* and people are here to lose their minds and I can confirm that I lost my mind here. I experienced what a break down was in September, this place is crazy."
I wanted to know what Danny meant about the people here and why he felt so out of place, I myself feeling like I had met a lot of people here who shared my interests. I asked him to elaborate and if he got on with the people here: "It's not that I don't get on with them because I do. I can marginally enjoy people's company who I've got nothing in common with because I'm comfortable around people, I can communicate with people. It's not the fact that I don't get on with them, but in terms of morals, interests, ideas of what fun is and priorities, I'm completely different from the majority of people here. Don't get me wrong, there are other people, like yourself, who are similar, but the majority of people are just here to get drunk, sleep around, make bad decisions and that is not what I'm here for at all." Like with any place, the side of it that you see can be completely different to how another person views it. I am well aware of the side of Banff that Danny has been exposed to and I agreed with him in part; there are people here who are just here to partake in these activities. Thankfully I fell on my feet when I moved here and found people who are like myself and Danny, who are more interested in other pass times. Danny didn't seem particularly unused to this feeling of misalignment with other people, remarking, "I have always seemed to be quite individual; hard to relate to people and they're hard to relate to me, but I get along with them."
Feeling a little disheartened for my friend, I wanted to make sure Danny had actually enjoyed himself here, "I've had a blast, some of the stuff I've seen is incredible. The summer I especially enjoyed because you could do all of the hikes and I've seen all of the different lakes. It's the days out I live for; you go to work and it's boring and tiring but you just think of that day off next week when you can go and do something and that's what I've been living for, as well as the Liverpool matches *laughs*."
Knowing that Danny's time in Banff was coming to a welcome end, I asked him what he planned for his second year in Canada after his return from Cancun; "I've had a job interview recently in Tofino, I had it on the phone and it went well so I'm hoping to hear back from them. If so, I'll be a night auditor in Tofino which is supposed to be the best place to work. I think I'll land right on my feet there because I'm a night owl so the hours suit me, it'll be quiet, no one else will be there, at night, chilling. If not I honestly have no idea, if I don't get a job in the next three weeks, when I land back in Vancouver after Cancun I'll have no job, no plan, no where to live. If worst comes to worst I'll just buy a car in BC and I'll just live in that temporarily while I'm technically homeless. I might even end up doing a road trip on my own, that wasn't the plan because I would like to do it with someone else."
Our conversation began weaving here and there, about how Danny was an only child and that he was well-looked after by his Mum back home. He told me that he was a true introvert; that he has a "social battery" and he takes longer to socially recharge than most. "I am introverted which confuses a lot of people because I've got an extroverted personality, but for me to function I need my time by myself, and more than is normal. I didn't used to need a social recharge but I do these days. Being out here, even though I've had to change and adapt, I'm still stuck in some of the ways I was back home. There's no budging me, I'm quite comfortable saying 'no I'm not going' and it annoys people. I'm quite stubborn like that, but I'm just putting myself first out here because I need to for my own sanity and mental health." I could tell we were edging around the subject of mental health and that it was something that affected Danny a lot, but I didn't want to push it if he wasn't comfortable. I let him continue and listened to what he wanted to tell me: "I'm coming up to 25 now, I know what its like when you're a sheep and you're trying to fit in and make people like you. I've been there, I'm over it; agreeing to things you don't want to do and going with the crowd. It's not me anymore because those things didn't make me happy."
We began talking about routines and spending time by yourself, I'm also an introvert so I could relate to a lot of what Danny was saying. Independent to my core, I remarked how I felt a lot of people underestimated the importance of finding comfort in your own company and Danny agreed with me, "I always want to strangle people who jump from relationship to relationship because they're scared of being alone. I just don't understand the mentality. [You've got to] learn to be on your own and enjoy your own company because you're going to spend more time alone than with any other person. You are the only full-time commitment until death, learn to look after yourself, learn to like yourself, and learn to understand yourself. That's a big reason for me coming to Canada as well. I'm weird like this, I had a break up with a bird in 2016, I take ages to heal from stuff like this, I don't know why. I think its because I put everything into it and its hard for me to be into someone so when its over its heart-wrenching. So I had this on-going break up for a few months which wasn't easy, and I thought 'get away from everything, go and spend some time on your own, get away from all this rubbish and when you come back one day you'll be over it'. I'll be honest now I'm fine, I am over it, and that's amazing. I was so happy, something just clicked one day, in the middle of this experience and I thought 'I'm not even thinking about her anymore'. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. I do also think suffering is necessary, people don't allow themselves to suffer because they just jump from person to person and this is why you'll never learn to be strong."
I thought Danny had shared so much already, and with such frankness, but he surprised me with his openness as he continued his story. More than happy to lend an ear to my friend when he was so comfortable and willing to talk, especially as he doesn't feel there are many people in Banff who want to hear it, I listened whole-heartedly as he delved deeper into his pain. "One of the main reasons for me coming out here was to get over depression. That's something else which is too deep for people round here, because everyone is small talk central; drugs, booze, snowboarding, casual sex. No one wants to hear about 'I'm here to get over depression'. I've got over somethings, like my break up, but I still think I've got a lot of depressive tendencies which have stayed with me over the years which is annoying. I can shrug them off because I've got an extroverted personality, I'm fairly hilarious, so I can put on a good mask, people aren't suspicious of my mental health. I just thought I'd get to Canada and try something different, cause everything you're trying at home's not working. Go to a new country, new people, new environment, new challenges, maybe you'll get over it. This is why I'm quite selfish out here, like 'no I'm not going, I'm going to the gym, sticking to my routine' cause I know these things contribute to me feeling low. I prioritise what's better for me, I'm in Canada to sort myself out."
Feeling content that Danny truly knows what's best for his sake, and happy that he has such a mature and proactive view on his mental health, I felt this was a good place to end our interview. I've seen how depression has affected people close to me before, and some comments they make can cause real worry and concern. With Danny I'm not so worried; he's stronger than he thinks he is and from everything he told me I felt he had a really positive and determined attitude towards his healing. I couldn't be more grateful to Danny for being so generous with his honesty, its very much a part of who he is as a person anyway, but I'm very humbled he felt he could share his struggles with me. As I'm writing this, today was Danny's last shift at Roots where we said our temporary goodbyes, us both agreeing that we would meet up when we're both back home in the UK.
It's that time of year in Banff where people are coming and going between the seasons and I'm going to have to say goodbye to a fair few of my friends very soon. I'll be sad to see Danny go, but I'm happy for him that he's ready for a wild time in Cancun with his boys from back home, and then a fresh adventure in BC. If you'd like to follow Danny's escapades in Cancun and his in time British Columbia, I've linked to his Instagram at the bottom of this post. I hope you enjoyed reading his story, I certainly enjoyed writing it.
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I met Danny in November when we both worked at a Canadian fashion brand called Roots, in their store on Banff Avenue. Roots is my full time job but Danny worked evenings alongside his full time job at the Banff Centre as a member of the housekeeping/maintenance team. As I made my way up the mountain for what I knew would be a very personal interview, the morning after a Roots staff party Danny and I had both attended, I wondered what the morning would hold for us both.
When I first met Danny we got along instantly, we're both from the North of England, only two hours drive away at home, and share the same Northern sense of humour. Getting along with Danny is involuntary; he's easily one of the funniest people I've ever met, as well as deep-thinking and genuine individual. When arranging our interview, he asked me how honest I wanted him to be and if I was looking for certain answers to my questions. I asked him to be as honest as he wanted to be, I wanted a genuine reflection of his time in Canada, but only to share what he felt comfortable sharing. Being the open and loyal person his is, he told me the harsh truths of his past year in Banff.
We settled ourselves in a barely-used, recreational room in one of the older buildings at the Banff Centre and Danny told me he would creep in here at 5:30am to watch the Liverpool matches. We spent a few minutes reviewing the antics of the night before that had us both feeling a little worse for wear, and then began our interview. It's bizarre interviewing someone you're already friends with, obviously you know some of the answers to the questions you're going to ask and it can affect the questions you do ask as it's easier to lead the interview in the direction you want. Trying to be as unbiased and integral as possible, I asked Danny to start at the beginning and tell me how long he'd been in Canada; "I've been in Canada since the 22nd of May to be precise, so I've recently passed the ten month mark. I'll be leaving temporarily on the eleventh month mark to go to Cancun, but then I'll be returning after two weeks to see my two years out. I've done over ten months in Banff which is a long time to spend in this small town, where I largely feel like I'm in the wrong place *laughs* [I feel] like I don't belong here, what you come here for and what the majority of people are here for, I'm not on that wavelength at all. It's been ten months of being like a fish out of water."
In response to this, I asked him what he was expecting when he moved to Banff: "I have no idea, honest to God, I follow a Facebook page called 'The World' and they regularly post pictures of things around Banff National Park, Lake Louise, Lake Moraine, Lake Minnewanka. I've seen all these pictures of these amazing lakes and mountains, and I knew I wanted to come travelling away from home for a bit and I thought 'Banff; it's got it all'. So I did a bit of research, and when I say a bit I mean brief research, on Banff and I thought 'yeah I'll go there', but I had no idea. This is like the Ibiza of Canada *laughs* and people are here to lose their minds and I can confirm that I lost my mind here. I experienced what a break down was in September, this place is crazy."
I wanted to know what Danny meant about the people here and why he felt so out of place, I myself feeling like I had met a lot of people here who shared my interests. I asked him to elaborate and if he got on with the people here: "It's not that I don't get on with them because I do. I can marginally enjoy people's company who I've got nothing in common with because I'm comfortable around people, I can communicate with people. It's not the fact that I don't get on with them, but in terms of morals, interests, ideas of what fun is and priorities, I'm completely different from the majority of people here. Don't get me wrong, there are other people, like yourself, who are similar, but the majority of people are just here to get drunk, sleep around, make bad decisions and that is not what I'm here for at all." Like with any place, the side of it that you see can be completely different to how another person views it. I am well aware of the side of Banff that Danny has been exposed to and I agreed with him in part; there are people here who are just here to partake in these activities. Thankfully I fell on my feet when I moved here and found people who are like myself and Danny, who are more interested in other pass times. Danny didn't seem particularly unused to this feeling of misalignment with other people, remarking, "I have always seemed to be quite individual; hard to relate to people and they're hard to relate to me, but I get along with them."
Feeling a little disheartened for my friend, I wanted to make sure Danny had actually enjoyed himself here, "I've had a blast, some of the stuff I've seen is incredible. The summer I especially enjoyed because you could do all of the hikes and I've seen all of the different lakes. It's the days out I live for; you go to work and it's boring and tiring but you just think of that day off next week when you can go and do something and that's what I've been living for, as well as the Liverpool matches *laughs*."
Knowing that Danny's time in Banff was coming to a welcome end, I asked him what he planned for his second year in Canada after his return from Cancun; "I've had a job interview recently in Tofino, I had it on the phone and it went well so I'm hoping to hear back from them. If so, I'll be a night auditor in Tofino which is supposed to be the best place to work. I think I'll land right on my feet there because I'm a night owl so the hours suit me, it'll be quiet, no one else will be there, at night, chilling. If not I honestly have no idea, if I don't get a job in the next three weeks, when I land back in Vancouver after Cancun I'll have no job, no plan, no where to live. If worst comes to worst I'll just buy a car in BC and I'll just live in that temporarily while I'm technically homeless. I might even end up doing a road trip on my own, that wasn't the plan because I would like to do it with someone else."
Our conversation began weaving here and there, about how Danny was an only child and that he was well-looked after by his Mum back home. He told me that he was a true introvert; that he has a "social battery" and he takes longer to socially recharge than most. "I am introverted which confuses a lot of people because I've got an extroverted personality, but for me to function I need my time by myself, and more than is normal. I didn't used to need a social recharge but I do these days. Being out here, even though I've had to change and adapt, I'm still stuck in some of the ways I was back home. There's no budging me, I'm quite comfortable saying 'no I'm not going' and it annoys people. I'm quite stubborn like that, but I'm just putting myself first out here because I need to for my own sanity and mental health." I could tell we were edging around the subject of mental health and that it was something that affected Danny a lot, but I didn't want to push it if he wasn't comfortable. I let him continue and listened to what he wanted to tell me: "I'm coming up to 25 now, I know what its like when you're a sheep and you're trying to fit in and make people like you. I've been there, I'm over it; agreeing to things you don't want to do and going with the crowd. It's not me anymore because those things didn't make me happy."
We began talking about routines and spending time by yourself, I'm also an introvert so I could relate to a lot of what Danny was saying. Independent to my core, I remarked how I felt a lot of people underestimated the importance of finding comfort in your own company and Danny agreed with me, "I always want to strangle people who jump from relationship to relationship because they're scared of being alone. I just don't understand the mentality. [You've got to] learn to be on your own and enjoy your own company because you're going to spend more time alone than with any other person. You are the only full-time commitment until death, learn to look after yourself, learn to like yourself, and learn to understand yourself. That's a big reason for me coming to Canada as well. I'm weird like this, I had a break up with a bird in 2016, I take ages to heal from stuff like this, I don't know why. I think its because I put everything into it and its hard for me to be into someone so when its over its heart-wrenching. So I had this on-going break up for a few months which wasn't easy, and I thought 'get away from everything, go and spend some time on your own, get away from all this rubbish and when you come back one day you'll be over it'. I'll be honest now I'm fine, I am over it, and that's amazing. I was so happy, something just clicked one day, in the middle of this experience and I thought 'I'm not even thinking about her anymore'. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. I do also think suffering is necessary, people don't allow themselves to suffer because they just jump from person to person and this is why you'll never learn to be strong."
I thought Danny had shared so much already, and with such frankness, but he surprised me with his openness as he continued his story. More than happy to lend an ear to my friend when he was so comfortable and willing to talk, especially as he doesn't feel there are many people in Banff who want to hear it, I listened whole-heartedly as he delved deeper into his pain. "One of the main reasons for me coming out here was to get over depression. That's something else which is too deep for people round here, because everyone is small talk central; drugs, booze, snowboarding, casual sex. No one wants to hear about 'I'm here to get over depression'. I've got over somethings, like my break up, but I still think I've got a lot of depressive tendencies which have stayed with me over the years which is annoying. I can shrug them off because I've got an extroverted personality, I'm fairly hilarious, so I can put on a good mask, people aren't suspicious of my mental health. I just thought I'd get to Canada and try something different, cause everything you're trying at home's not working. Go to a new country, new people, new environment, new challenges, maybe you'll get over it. This is why I'm quite selfish out here, like 'no I'm not going, I'm going to the gym, sticking to my routine' cause I know these things contribute to me feeling low. I prioritise what's better for me, I'm in Canada to sort myself out."
Feeling content that Danny truly knows what's best for his sake, and happy that he has such a mature and proactive view on his mental health, I felt this was a good place to end our interview. I've seen how depression has affected people close to me before, and some comments they make can cause real worry and concern. With Danny I'm not so worried; he's stronger than he thinks he is and from everything he told me I felt he had a really positive and determined attitude towards his healing. I couldn't be more grateful to Danny for being so generous with his honesty, its very much a part of who he is as a person anyway, but I'm very humbled he felt he could share his struggles with me. As I'm writing this, today was Danny's last shift at Roots where we said our temporary goodbyes, us both agreeing that we would meet up when we're both back home in the UK.
It's that time of year in Banff where people are coming and going between the seasons and I'm going to have to say goodbye to a fair few of my friends very soon. I'll be sad to see Danny go, but I'm happy for him that he's ready for a wild time in Cancun with his boys from back home, and then a fresh adventure in BC. If you'd like to follow Danny's escapades in Cancun and his in time British Columbia, I've linked to his Instagram at the bottom of this post. I hope you enjoyed reading his story, I certainly enjoyed writing it.
Follow Danny:
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